A few years back, I wrote out longings instead of goals for the year. After the first year, I decided that this would be a good yearly practice. When I think about longings instead of goals, I tend to be more relationship-driven, more focused on my character and my emotions. I care about self-care, friendships, maturity, and learning rather than projects that need a deadline. It’s less about self-improvement and re-inventing myself, and more about what I hope and dream about.
I wrote mine in early January, and it was hard to write. Christmas break dragged on, as I laid in bed, feeling so fatigued and helpless, unsure of what to do to help myself. Dreaming when I felt like shit seemed like an impossible task, yet I made myself, with the encouragement of a few friends. My wrinkled paper of longings resides on my bedside table, and I read them weekly.
One of my longings is: Indy feels like home, with strong and growing roots.
Currently, this is happening in small ways. I recently became a member of Redeemer Presbyterian Church. I have taken a few writing classes with the Indiana Writer’s Center this winter and spring. The Indy Winter’s Farmer’s Market and a yoga class was a winter Saturday morning rhythm. I buy meat and vegetables from local farmers. I have found an excellent doctor, who has me on a treatment plan that is working. My nutritionist responds to any food question I have promptly. Friendships are deepening with a few. I have favorite parks, walking routes, coffee shops, bookstores, neighborhoods, restaurants, grocery stores. Last week I ran into a friend at a coffee shop and felt like a local.
One of my hopes for the near future is for an AutoImmune Paleo dinner club where several of us can eat everything that is on the table, rather than saying “No” to 85% of what is served. I’ll keep you posted.
What are your longings? What does “home” feel like to you?