Friends, I wanted to thank you for the many gracious responses from my last post. This last month has been a healing one, full of big and small steps. It’s been a time of winding down work and enjoying a week off at the end of May. It’s been a time of full days, and then other days without any plans. It included lots of reading, yoga and walks outside. Time perusing book stores, making yummy desserts and eating great food! A day trip to Columbus to celebrate a friend’s wedding and Bloomington to watch the Indiana State Track Meet. It’s been a month of hard conversations-but important ones. A time to talk to health professionals and fill in some gaps in my treatment. It’s been a month of seeing small outward glimpses of my own inner work. Of hearing my voice more clearly, seeing greater assertiveness rather than hesitation.
One of the hardest pieces of living in the aftermath of sexual assault is the shame that turned into feeling alone. Like I was lacking some core piece of belonging. Intellectually I knew the statistics-I knew that I wasn’t alone in my experience. And I also knew that there are a lot of supportive people around me. And yet my body was telling a different story.
Here is a piece by John O’Donohue that is a beautiful blessing, which speaks mostly to belonging to yourself, which of course then extends to belonging to others.
May you listen to your longing to be free.
May the frames of your belonging be generous enough for your dreams.
May you arise each day with a voice of blessing whispering in your heart.
May you find a harmony between your soul and your life.
May the sanctuary of your soul never become haunted.
May you know the eternal longing that lives at the heart of time.
May there be kindness in your gaze when you look within.
May you never place walls between the light and yourself.
May you allow the wild beauty of the invisible world to gather you, mind you, and embrace you in belonging.